This week, I am banding together with so many other bloggers out there that are opening up, showing the healing of the scars from ED, and spreading the word about eating disorders. It is NEDA Awareness week. The theme of 2016 is 3 Minutes Can Save a Life. Get Screened. Get Help. Get Healthy. Eating disorders are not easy to talk about, but if you are struggling or if you know of someone else who is struggling please don’t hesitate to send them this quiz from this link for a short 3 minute screening. Truly 3 minutes COULD and CAN save a life.
First of all, I have SO many healthy living bloggers that I love. Many of them are a source of constant encouragement and edification to me! That’s why I’m including so many of their AWESOME links below for today’s ‘Thankful Tuesday‘, because I am really grateful for them. Yet, I also have figured out that I’m just not a healthy living blogger, and I can’t pretend that I am.
This isn’t my blogging identity however, and for a while, I struggled with that, because I love every one of the healthy living bloggers that I follow. I learn from them. I love trying their recipes. I love getting inspiration from them for blogging, workouts, learning to rest, stretch, and be more honest with the health journey that I’m on. Would I fit in if I wasn’t a healthy living blogger? Would anybody be encouraged or uplifted by what I had to say?
Well, I’m more and more convinced that God uses the weak things of this world. The identity of this blog is a recovery blog which means that it gets a little messy, teary, and broken around here. However, it seems like that is the path that God is leading me down, so I want to embrace that. I’m learning to be grateful that God used my ED, even my ED, to make me weak, so I could start this blog. . .
Why am I not a healthy living blog?
It’s not a healthy living blog, because I’m really not that healthy, when it comes to the ratio of carbs, proteins, and fats I eat.. I don’t eat 5-6 cups of vegetables per day, and well, even though I used to, I don’t go off sugar very often. I even eat chocolate 3 or 4 times a day.
Jeremiah 29:11-14, ‘For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will hear you. You will seek me and find me, when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you, declares the Lord, and I will restore your fortunes and gather you from all the nations and all the places where I have driven you, declares the Lord, and I will bring you back to the place from which I sent you into exile.”
I’m not a physical fitness trainer. I’m not a nutritionist or dietitian, and I’m okay with that. There are so many others that are, and I’m learning from them everyday.
I don’t really know how to advise someone on how much fat, carbs, and protein that they need or the physical steps you need to take for recovery. I can’t make you a workout program. I can’t say that I have good posture. I’m not super strong or really disciplined about following a training program myself, so I don’t think I’ll ever be blogging (unless something changes) about motivating clients to do something that I’m not very good at myself.
And I probably won’t ever be a serial marathon runner, a super healthy eater, or a body builder. I know bloggers that are ALL of those, and they are the greatest. They are intense. They are inspirational, and they are a blessing to me.
However, physically, I’ve realized that that’s not what God meant for me, and I’m learning to be content with it.
God has made so many different people, and He didn’t make us all alike. Each person has a different health journey.
You know what? When I first started struggling with the view of the way God made my body and what healthy really was, I was also getting into healthy living blogs for the first time. Yet I would NEVER blame any of these bloggers for being triggers or stumbling blocks for me. In fact, many of them, when God started to change my thinking about what healthy really is, were HUGE parts of my recovery. I’m thinking particularly of Tina, Kath, and Anne. I realized that these ladies had a much wider definition of healthy than I had. They loved the weekend dining with their families. They ate huge salads. They sweated hard. They vacationed hard. They rested hard. They got doughnuts and iced coffee. They ENJOYED them.
Through them, I learned that it’s about balance. It’s about moderation. The devil tries to imbalance us. He tries to put lies into our heads, but God has used so many of these gals to point me back to true moderation in everything including eating salads, exercise, rest, vacations, spiritual, mental, and physical health.
God made us to enjoy these things that He called good. We all enjoy them in different ways. Why would I spend so much time obsessed over being ‘healthy‘ when that actually extracts me from the presence of true, healthy joy and peace in His presence?
God made me to have joy in Him. I can have joy when I enjoy that cinnamon roll pancake with my sister on a Tuesday night. I can enjoy Him when I pile a plate with salad or sit on the couch and watch an old Sherlock Holmes with the family.
Psalm 16:11, You make known to me the path of life;
in your presence there is fullness of joy;
at your right hand are pleasures forevermore.’
Health for me means listening to my body when it say’s, ‘HELP. Don’t go running. Your body is tired and sore. It needs rest. You are not superwoman.’
I don’t have to be all things, because I can’t. He is perfect abundant love and perfection, and that love is enough for me. Perfection isn’t ‘a perfect diet.’ Joy isn’t a ‘perfect diet.’
I don’t even believe that there really is a perfect diet, perfect way to exercise, or perfect way to be ‘healthy.’ Each person is an individual, and that’s the beauty of each journey. God made us to take care of our temples, not to destroy them or starve them. He is merciful, so why wouldn’t we be merciful and caring for these temples that He’s given us?
Healthy, for me, has changed so much, but I’ll never quite be a healthy living blogger. I’m more of a ‘semi-healthyish’ blogger with a story, a story about how God redeeming me from an eating disorder and learning about what it really means to be healthy.
I’m thankful that God is giving me freedom to enjoy His gifts, and I am SO happy to say that for the first time in a long time, I am beginning to understand what ‘healthy’ really looks like for Emily.
‘Jesus, I am resting, resting,
In the joy of what Thou art;
I am finding out the greatness
Of Thy loving heart.
Thou hast bid me gaze upon Thee,
And Thy beauty fills my soul,
For by Thy transforming power,
Thou hast made me whole.’
Jesus, I am resting in your love.
In honor of NEDA Awareness week, I’m sharing links that directly relate to body image, recovery, and TRULY healthy eating. Literally, I am so thankful to not feel alone anymore with this community that God has given me to share our stories, struggles, and victories. These girls are treasures.
Eating Disorder Recovery Links (February 22, 2016)
When You Don’t Fit Into the Body Image Mold – Me neither, and I am SO thankful that Heather wrote this. She says it so much better than I could have ever said it.
Whole 30 Wrap Up Forever – Margaret attacked the Whole 30 in an amazingly balanced manner. She didn’t look at it like a ‘diet’. It was a learning experience for her. It was a way for her to learn things about her body. It was a way for her to care for her temple in a better way, and yet she did say that she isn’t planning on doing it again.
That’s Not My Size Anymore – One of the scariest and yet most freeing moments of recovery is realizing that you aren’t that person anymore. You are a different shape, a truly healthy happy weight, and it’s far more than that number on the scale. Throw out the old size. Bring in the new. 🙂
Fitspo and Why I’ll Never Post a Half Naked Gym Selfie – I won’t fault you for posting a selfie in a sports bra, but this reasoning is the same reasoning behind why I won’t ever post one on social media.
A Letter To My Daughter About Her Self Worth – I don’t know if I could write a better, more precious, sweet letter to my future daughters.
I Like Validation, and That’s a Problem. – Julia, you are not the only one. Being comfortable in your own skin, the way God has made you, the personality He has given you, is one of the biggest struggles and VICTORIES that comes in recovery. This girl is a living example of it.
Never Alone – Remember. You are never alone in the recovery journey. You are NEVER alone.
How have healthy living bloggers helped you?
Do you have some favorite recovery bloggers that I don’t know of?
Are you as ‘semi-healthy’ as me? What does healthy look like for you?