I have a lot of girls in mind as I write this post. Some of them are Cayanne, Lyss, Megan, Marina, Julia, Georgie, Shannon, Sarah, Kat, Alison, Jamie, Kate, Kat, and so many more I can’t even count them. The question that’s been on my mind this week as it’s #NEDAwareness week is this, ‘Is total recovery entirely possible?’
So many people walk through these very dark valleys in an eating disorder and wonder the same thing. You can feel all alone, despairing, and so broken; you wonder if you could ever be fixed. But I think that the life stories of these girls means that total recovery is possible.
You see. It doesn’t mean that you’re over every fear food in a year. It doesn’t mean that you’re weight restored in total in a year as well as mentally restored.
Good things take time, but it’s like the blooming of a flower. When it blooms it’s absolutely beautiful. The total beauty of the flower far surpasses the beauty of the bud.
God makes things beautiful in His time; I truly have seen this in my life. There were times when I was in total misery, laying on the bathroom floor, absorbed by nothing but my own miserable thoughts and hate of the body I’d been given.
But I LOVE the body God has given me now. Are there times I still struggle with the extra cellulite, the fact that I don’t have a six pack, and that I don’t look like what people might consider beautiful or muscular? YES. But those thoughts aren’t allowed to live here; Christ Jesus lives here in Emily. And He’s the Lord of my thoughts.
And Jesus is beauty. He’s life. He doesn’t like death. He wept when Lazarus died. Jesus is the life giver, and the days when I’m drained, depressed, sad about the way my body looks or deceiving myself into thinking that I ‘ate too much food’ because I ate 20 calories over the amount in my head, I’m pointed back to Him.
I believe that with God nothing is impossible.
So I’m going to say that total recovery is possible; I know it’s a long shot, but I’m going to take those steps out on the water, knowing that Jesus holds the winds and the waves and He heals the bruises.
Now if you’re discouraged about recovery please don’t despair. Instead I want to point you to some really encouraging blog posts I’ve read just this week on recovery. They will make your heart sing about the possibilities of recovery!
Lyss dives right into the topic with, ‘I Never Thought I’d Beat My Eating Disorder.’
Marina has an incredible series on her blog called ‘Warrior Women Wednesdays’ that covers multiple stories of women who have struggled with eating disorders.
Sarah pens a beautiful letter of why she fights eating disorders.
Ellie gets really passionate about feeling like you HAVE to justify your food choices. HINT: ‘You don’t.’
And this may seem small, but part of recovery is getting to eat all those foods again without counting:
EVERY SINGLE CALORIE.
Part of recovery is eating big portions of food (calorie dense) food and not being as terrified as you were before.
To encourage those of you who are still struggling and finding freedom in this journey I wanted to share some food that I’ve been eating recently that I used to never dream of eating during my ED. It makes me so excited to continually tell you that Jesus Christ does set you free; free to find your identity in Him, not in your weight or the food you eat or in the clothes you wear, but in Him who never changes.
Oreo Truffles – Years ago these would have been too ‘fatty’, sugary, and just totally off limits. They made the best Valentine’s Day treat.
Cereal Bowls the Size of Your Head. Remember Nicole from this podcast?
Nicole has these epic bowls she calls, ‘Nicole Bowls.’ She puts 3 cups of cereal, 3 tbsp of peanut butter, and greek yogurt in them. I decided to try doing almost as much cereal with almond milk and not just one (I usually do one) but 2 scoops of Georgia Grinder’s Pecan Butter.
Verdict: It was delicious, and my irrational fear of a lot of cereal was conquered for that night.
Meals Without a Green Salad – I love salad, but sometimes you aren’t feeling it, and it’s okay to eat the crockpot veggies that you’re craving with all the ketchup and parmesan cheese instead.
Insanely Huge Wraps from Qdoba: This was amazing. It was seriously like 3 burritos in one. And the guacamole at Qdoba is FREE!!!!
These little wins happen every day. Do NOT give up on recovery. Each breath of life is a total gift. And don’t stay silent in the battle. Reach out to someone who can help.
Today I’m linking up with Arman and thanking Laura and Jenn for letting me share this special edition of WIAW in honor of NEDA week. This isn’t a full day of eats, but rather a list of recent foods that I’ve really enjoyed instead of feared (because I want you to know that you don’t have to fear them either.) I’m linking up with Amanda too, to think out loud about recovery along with all the other awesome posts you can read there about NEDA Awareness.
Let’s talk about eating disorder recovery:
Do you think total recovery is possible?
If you haven’t struggled with an ED do you have a friend who has and has recovered?
If you are in recovery, what kind of encouragement would you want to hear from those who have recovered/are recovering?
(Coming up later this week or next week I will be sharing a story of finding joy in the recovery journey from one of my favorite bloggers. Stay tuned.)