For today’s AMAZING recovery round-up with Julia, I’m going to share about the valleys of recovery, the scary parts. I’m going to share how God showed me through each valley, that even the darkest places were not in vain.
Recovery has valleys and mountain tops. Recovery looked so scary to me in the depths of ED. There are days when I JUST didn’t want to recover, and my feelings told me that I should go back to restriction, because I was somehow ‘happy’ when I did that.
Even as you go down into the valleys, one of the best things to remember is the MOUNTAINS, the reasons why you are recovering. The mountain top that our merciful and gracious God continued to remind me of was that I was recovering because JESUS came to bring LIFE, and the Devil came to destroy life. I was made to glorify God, not my sinful flesh or the devil.
That’s the devil. He came to steal joy, kill our relationship with Christ, and to destroy us. Jesus came to give us life. He came to seek and save the lost, those who were far from God, those who realized that they were desperate, desperately in need of salvation. Luke 19:10 says, ‘ “For the Son of Man has come to seek and to save that which was lost.”
Thankful that Jesus sought me, this broken person, and saved me by God’s grace.
Jesus came to do the will of His Father, and He had to fulfill the wrath of God against our sin. Sin produced my ED. Sin produced my selfishness and my desire to be ‘perfect’ according to the world’s standards. Because of sin, my heart is deceitful above all things and desperately wicked.
Jesus changed all that about me. Jesus came to show me what it was to take my eyes off myself and to serve others instead. Mark 10:45, ‘“For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve.” As a child of God, Jesus is my example, and He didn’t come to serve Himself, even though He was the God man. Instead He came to serve others, to wash the feet of others, and that means that I can’t spend my time restricting, examining my body image, or trying to give myself the ‘perfect body.’
That may not be a girl with a perfect body, but I am thankful that I have a perfect God that can give us perfect peace. <3
The more I realized why Jesus came, the more I was able to see the mountain tops, even from the valleys of recovery. And the valleys of recovery can be so dark.
The valleys of recovery included despair, depression, and even anger. There were days I would be so confused that I wondered why I was even trying.
Even in the dry valleys of recovery, God continued to point me to the mountains in the distance. There was always hope, even when it looked so dark.
Yet, I began to learn that trials, as a child of God, is part of the proof that I am a child of God. Romans 8:17 says, ‘And if children, then heirs; heirs of God, and joint-heirs with Christ; if so be that we suffer with him, that we may be also glorified together.’ This world isn’t the end. The sufferings that were part of ED aren’t the end of this earth. They point to a further home in heaven, in glory with Him. 2 Corinthians 4:17 says, ‘For our light affliction, which is but for a moment, worketh for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory;’
Suffering isn’t fun. Yet, it isn’t purposeless. God promised to send His Spirit, the Comforter to us, knowing that even His own Son was a ‘man of sorrows and acquainted with grief.’ So many times, when I was in despair, I realized the comfort that only God can give, the deep seated comfort of knowing that I have been saved by grace. No matter how filthy I felt, no matter how dirty I was, Jesus came to give me fountains of living water and to change me into a new person.
The recovery struggles weren’t in vain. I know God put them in my life for a purpose, and I thank God that we are ‘more than conquerors through Him that loved us’ and that ‘NOTHING shall separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus.’ That is a truth I will cling to, by God’s grace till the day I die.
Time to embrace the mountains of recovery, even if they look distant, because your sufferings are not in vain.
I LOVE YOU recovery warriors!!! Please please feel free to email me with prayer requests or questions at firstname.lastname@example.org. I know that the recovery journey is hard, and you should not walk it alone. I’m not a doctor, but if I can give you verbal encouragement I would love to share. <3
James 1:2-8, ‘ My brethren, count it all joy when you fall into various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience. But let patience have its perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing. If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all liberally and without reproach, and it will be given to him. But let him ask in faith, with no doubting, for he who doubts is like a wave of the sea driven and tossed by the wind. For let not that man suppose that he will receive anything from the Lord; 8 he isa double-minded man, unstable in all his ways.’