Shoutout to Jenn for creating one of my favorite link-ups of the week!
For today’s ‘What I ate Wednesday’ I thought I’d come out with one of my biggest struggles in recovery. This struggle was being ashamed of eating. For so long, I had ‘prided’ myself on the fact that I knew how to be self-controlled. I didn’t eat too much ‘junk’ food, and I ALWAYS stopped when I was full. (I actually always stopped when I was still hungry.) I also often thought about and dreamt about eating junk food. It became a bigger idol in my life than it is now. It’s no longer an idol, because I eat it now, without stopping to idolize and think about it. I’m not perfect, but the journey continues day by day. I’m learning to enjoy every type of food including cookies, salads, and squid.
Here’s the thing: Eating is not the enemy. In recovery, your mind and your feelings often are your enemy. And that’s when I have to remind myself of this truth:
When you struggle with analyzing every calorie, overly obsessing about eating healthy and being self-controlled, it’s difficult to shift into a more intuitive mindset, a mindset of being okay with filling your plate when others aren’t quite as ravenous as you are or when you just feel like eating a full plate would be ‘over the top.’
God gave us food. He made our bodies to need sustenance. James 1:17 says, ‘Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, and cometh down from the Father of lights, with whom is no variableness, neither shadow of turning.’ Food is a gift. It’s given from God for us to eat and to give praise and glory to Him for all the wonderful fuel He’s made.
This ‘WIAW’ is going to be slightly random as I intersperse pictures of what I’ve been eating lately with thoughts about the act of and experience of eating from a Christ-centered perspective. 🙂
So… why should you not feel ashamed of eating?
1. Because God gave it to you. It’s not a burden or an evil thing. It’s a good thing to eat a juicy pear or crunch a tortilla chip in your mouth.
2. To enjoy eating is not to FOCUS on food or micro-analyze your calories. It’s too pile the plate with pasta and salad and listen to your family exchange fun conversation over the dinner table. It’s a fun time to just sit and think about what happened during the day.
3. It helps you appreciate variety. God made so many different fruits, vegetables, grains, meats, and other foods for our enjoyment. I missed out on so many opportunities to be grateful for those different kinds of foods when I narrowed my diet to the ‘safe foods’ that I could eat in order to be ‘healthy.’
My dinner tonight was so tasty and filling after a long day of prepping for a conference.. O_O
With that, I’m not going to dwell in shame on me ‘eating too much’ in comparison to other people. God made me with the hunger signals, and it’s okay to eat a piece of chocolate + some chocolate cream pie and give Him praise for the yumminess!
Some of the other eats that went into my ravenous stomach this week included but were not limited to:
As you see, I’ve kind of been on a ‘yogurt bowl’ kick lately. Here’s a little secret… Well I guess it’s not a secret if I tell you, but, I love oatmeal, but I’m not always up to the ‘effort’ that goes into making it in the morning. A yogurt bowl is so easy. I think I can put it together in about 30 seconds flat.
*cue sheepish grin*
Oddly enough, I’m not gluten free, but my dad is, and therefore, we keep gluten free products in the house. Yesterday I pulled one of them out of the bag, which was halfway open. It was more like a half tortilla/half tortilla chip, but it was SO good covered with peanut butter and honey. I think I could eat peanut butter, honey, and bread in prison for the rest of my life, and I would be happy.
Thoughts? What perspective would you offer on this struggle?
Do you like a varied diet?
What are some of your favorite staples in your daily diet? (Hint: Mine would include a dairy product and a nut product or a ‘legume’ product.)