This is difficult to say, but I still struggle sometimes with restriction especially on vacation. It’s not to the point of wanting to be skinny or lose weight, but the fear . . . irrational fear of gaining weight always seems to pop up in my head right as I walk out the door on that trip. I still find myself wanting to restrict as a way to cope, wanting to deal with my fears and insecurities by using ‘restrict’ as the power I have to keep myself from going over the edge. But that’s just the opposite of what I really need to do, and I’ve been learning that in a tough way these past few weeks.
I know that God has not given me the spirit of fear but of power and love and a sound mind, and I need to keep telling that to myself.
With that I want to share some of the lessons I’m learning especially as I’ve had wrestled with days of restriction more lately because of travel.
#1) Don’t restrict certain foods. Eat it all; if you find that you aren’t able to eat as much, don’t get worried about your body. Listen to it.
#2) If I found that I restricted ‘calories’ for a certain day, I can’t go down the same trail for very long. – It’s amazing to me how restriction affected my body, because now I’ve learned that my body goes into panic mode when I try to restrict calories. I’m no longer really afraid of different foods, but I do have that fear about ‘too much food.’ However my body just WILL not let me restrict, and for that I’m grateful.
#3) Don’t overthink it. Cry out to the Lord. Ask the Lord to help me conquer those fears, overcome them, and trust Him. – Every day I’m reminded that I need Jesus desperately. I need Him, His strength, His grace, His mercy to carry me through and enable me to get back up again when I fail.
# 4 – There will be times of falling and failure, and those teach me all the more that I’m human and I’m not a superhero. I’m not a recovery superhero that can exemplify perfect recovery.
But one thing I do know? Jesus is with me. I can not be destroyed, and I can not go back to even allowing that ED idol back inside of my life, inside of my affections. I will stumble and fall, but the Lord has taken me up. The Lord has delivered me, and He won’t stop now.
Concrete Plan Going Forward?
With less than 3 weeks left in Europe, I would love to:
1) Listen to the hunger. Honor it.
2) Listen to the desire for or lack of desire for exercise and honor it as best as I can.
3) Rest and sleep as much as possible before going back home and getting back to the fun of work! :)) I don’t say that sarcastically at all, because I truly am excited about getting back to taking care of huskies, helping find news stories, conducting interviews, cooking, and more. 🙂
Three of the Very Best Resources For These Struggles That I have Found are:
Questions for you?
Are you ever tempted to restrict in a certain situation even though you’ve mostly recovered?
What is some of your best advice about not giving in to the desire to restrict?