‘Hast thou not known? hast thou not heard, that the everlasting God, the Lord, the Creator of the ends of the earth, fainteth not, neither is weary? there is no searching of his understanding. He giveth power to the faint; and to them that have no might he increaseth strength. Even the youths shall faint and be weary, and the young men shall utterly fall: But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint.’ (Isaiah 40:28-31)
I’m tired . . . a . . . lot. Life makes you tired. I know I’m not in heaven yet with Jesus, so I’m going to be weary, tired still on this earth. This passage from Isaiah 40 makes me amazed and comforts me that God is never tired, that God is nothing like me. I’ve figured out that I would not make a good entrepreneur. Entrepreneurs are pushers. They have the energy to push through the tired, and they thrive on less sleep. I love learning from them, working for them, but I’m coming to the realization that it’s okay to not be an entrepreneur. It’s okay to not be able to do a full work schedule, because I can’t do tired for very long.
It’s Saturday, and my mind is going to some of the places in God’s Word where He says to, ‘Wait.’ I think I make myself tired, because I don’t wait. I don’t stop to remember that the Lord is my Shepherd. He fills my cup; I don’t fill my cup, and when I’m trying to just run on an empty cup of ‘tired’, it doesn’t work.
I can’t fill my cup up in myself. I can’t just look at myself. . . because that’s exhausting. Yet, looking at Jesus, reading God’s Word, and reminding myself that no matter what, whether I’m laid up in bed resting because I can’t survive otherwise, or I’m working, God is working the ultimate story out for His glory.
One of the most tiring things for me lately is still battling with some ED thoughts after eating, if I don’t exercise, or when I put on a shirt that doesn’t fit me quite right that day. Some of the greatest ED thoughts are still in my mind, and it’s really hard to express them out loud. I often pray through them, listen to Scripture, go on a walk, or just nap, because the battle for the mind, renewing my mind in Christ Jesus, is intense.
I’m walking through these thoughts with you all right now, because I want to be transparent. I put on a shirt lately, and I think, ‘Ugh… I just look fat.’ And then I think, ‘Jesus Christ has REDEEMED you from this idol, from this obsession. You don’t need to be imprisoned by this anymore.’
It goes back and forth, and some days it just makes me really tired. I crawl into bed and think, ‘Thank you Jesus.’ I wake up in the morning, and I just don’t want to get out of bed.
And the Lord carries me out of bed. I’m crying out to the Lord, crying out like this Psalm.
‘I waited patiently for the Lord; and he inclined unto me, and heard my cry. He brought me up also out of an horrible pit, out of the miry clay, and set my feet upon a rock, and established my goings.” (Psalm 40:1-2)
It feels like that; like you’re in a pit. I’m so thankful for the precious book of Psalms because it echoes the depth of the feelings that I often have but can’t express.
Tired people need Jesus. All of us will be tired. Only Jesus can wash us clean of those sins that drain us, that try to destroy us, and restore our souls.
‘And he hath put a new song in my mouth, even praise unto our God: many shall see it, and fear, and shall trust in the Lord.’ (Isaiah 40:3)
I have to say that I’m learning to rest. learning to be ok with being tired and being gentle with, admitting my human weakness, admitting that I need to trust Jesus more, and waiting on the Lord.
I thought it would be fun to couple this with a ‘Life Lately’ update. 🙂 Since I try to be present in most social situations without taking a ton of pictures (sometimes I do. sometimes I don’t. It all depends.), I mostly take pictures of food, so we’ll recap the week in food. I’m linking up with Meg and all the other blogger friends for the ‘Week In Review.’
On Monday I scraped out another nut butter jar which was pretty satisfying and delicious. Besides that, I don’t remember doing much else besides gathering news for the news outlet I work for; I talked about the jobs I do last week!
Tuesday I had a delicious peanut butter Perfect Bar. I was totally craving one of them, so I bought one at Safeway. Then I went to UPS with about 8 packages. When I got there I completely embarrassed myself by trying to get the packages up the ramp. Then I spilled some of the contents of my purse (which was open… O_O) onto the ground. Thank the Lord that I was able to retrieve the contents without losing anything.
On Wednesday, I had this epic piece of toast. The almond butter was dripping onto my hands, and it was just a delicious wonderful experience for a Wednesday morning. I took the dogs on a very short run, and then I went back home. I worked on an interview re: Memorial Day. Sadly, my computer crashed later that day, and I lost it. But God was definitely teaching me that I can still rejoice in Him even if I lose things like an interview.
Wednesday evening was also our church prayer meeting. It’s really a sweet time of hearing people pour out their hearts in prayer to the Amazing Heavenly Father, Creator, and our Friend. It’s absolutely humbling to think that we can come to the throne of grace through the blood of the Lord Jesus Christ and leave our requests, praising the Lord, and just thanking the Lord for every blessing, for the gift of His goodness, and even His chastening loving hand on His children. We also got to watch a movie called ‘Is Genesis History?‘ together at the church building.
On Thursday evening we went to a BBQ/cookout. I was feeling a bit ‘bleh’ after having a cold all day. Well I still have the cold, but I think that was the worst day. I also had a bit of tummy trouble, but after a little bit, I was able to enjoy this yummy burger on half of a bun with some of the best salad ever.
Then my sister and I walked home, and we had the best time talking about so many different things. My sister is a really thoughtful girl who never takes things at face value; she is always willing to dig into the hard topics, and point me back to the gospel every time I say something that’s a bit off base.
On Friday I was SO tired. We went out to lunch with my big brother and got to see where he works as a Computer Programmer. It was fun going out to a Thai restaurant. I do admit that I was a bit anxious about going out to eat twice in one day, but it was one of the most freeing days of going out to eat/recovery that I’ve had in a LONG time. #incrediblythankful
later that evening, we went to the Cheesecake Factory to have dinner for my other sister’s 22nd birthday. It was super fun, because we ordered family style. None of us eat TONS of food at a meal, so we often like to share at restaurants. We shared some nachos, 2 slices of cheesecake, and a couple other meals (it was just perfect.)
Then I proceeded to absent mindedly leave the key at the table (for our car), so I had to run back to get it. I’m amazed at how the Lord looks out for me. O_O
Saturday was a whirlwind morning. My youngest sister (not mentioned yet in today’s post), went to the tiny cute Farmer’s Market in our little town. She has a sign business called ‘Signs By Abby‘ where she sells adorable gorgeous hand painted signs. If you want to see some of her work go to this link on Instagram!
And now I’m writing this post.
What did you do last week? What was your favorite part? Catching up on sleep this weekend?
Do you struggle with feeling tired?
Can you push past being tired or do you hit the ‘sleep button’ or rest button?
(Linking up with Jamie for Sunday Thoughts and Katie for Marvelous Monday and Lori for Moments of Hope Monday! I hope you will find hope and refreshment in this post for those days when life is especially tiring.