I am not good at waiting as evidenced by this post I shared earlier this week. I’m too impatient. I want things… right now, and I don’t want to wait for them. That need for instant gratification is so BAD, and the Lord is truly teaching me to wait on Him, to actually wait, quietly, quieting my heart, quieting my mind, quieting my desires because now isn’t quite the time.
Wait. – That would be the word that it seems the Lord has put in front of me right now. God is A LOVING Father to His children, and yesterday someone was reading from Proverbs 3 and how the Lord chastens those whom He loves.
Chastened – He is chastening my lack of patience because He LOVES me. He is honing me, shaving off the exceedingly rough edges on me, showing me that I didn’t deserve His grace, and to imagine that I deserve SOO much more is presumptous.
And in it all God is good. I find that in the times of agonizing confusion and waiting, it presses me more to the Lord. It’s like recovery. There were years when I thought,
“Will I ever stop caring about the number on the scale?”
“Will I ever stop examining my body in the mirror?”
“Will I ever stop obsessing over missed workouts?”
And I CAN say that I have. I haven’t weighed myself in years. I praise God for that.
Psalm 95:1, ‘O come, let us sing unto the Lord: let us make a joyful noise to the rock of our salvation.’
He has definitely saved me in so many ways. And right now I am learning to wait some more, to pray. to wait. to hope for His salvation. I treasure this Psalm that we often sing at church, Psalm 40.
Psalm 40:1-2, ‘
I waited patiently for the Lord; and he inclined unto me, and heard my cry.
2 He brought me up also out of an horrible pit, out of the miry clay, and set my feet upon a rock, and established my goings.’
I’m being honest here. I’ve been in a pit. I’ve cried a LOT this past week; I’ve realized how much I pity myself and how much I’m not caring for others and being compassionate towards others, marveling more at the grace of God.
I’ve gone through all of these stages this week:
Again . . . Grateful and Though Still Confused Over the Future and Desires I Think God Has Given Me, I am Confident today as I write this because the Lord is my confidence.
So let’s break down the week for you… It was Thanksgiving week which was the MOST FREEING Thanksgiving ever.
Monday (or Tuesday) – I made Kat’s Pumpkin Spice Caramel Rice Krispy treats with Cheerios and M&Ms. We were recovering from a HUGE week at our house full of making a lot of meals for a lot of guys and gals who came here for a Bible conference in our basement. It was a rich sweet week full of worshipping God together, prayer, singing, and so much joy.
Psalm 40:3, ‘And he hath put a new song in my mouth, even praise unto our God: many shall see it, and fear, and shall trust in the Lord.’
Wednesday: God has so graciously blessed us with a new flower shop in our teeny little town that prints text on roses. It came at such a perfect time, because my mom’s birthday is on Sunday, and we were able to get these as an early birthday present for her.
Have you ever heard of printed roses?
Thursday – THANKSGIVING!!!! It was amazing how this meal came together, because we didn’t really have much time to plan it because of the conference at our house the week before. But God amazingly brought all the details together and we had a menu of:
Laura’s DELICIOUS Cranberry Sauce
The Best Dinner Rolls Ever
Maple Cinnamon Roasted Sweet Potatoes
Our Favorite Bing Cherry Jello Salad
Mashed Potatoes with Butter & Cream Cheese & Cheddar Cheese
Roasted Brussels Sprouts
It was EPIC. I felt the most free I’ve ever felt around food to eat freely and yet not overeat. I didn’t feel restricted from eating any of the foods. Even though I did a turkey trot in the morning, I didn’t associate the exercise as heavily with the eating as I used to; it was a stunning reminder of God’s redeeming power in my heart.
At the end of the day we went down the road and saw one of the most jaw dropping sunsets I’ve ever beheld. Truly it made me want to just drop to the ground and sing praises to God. We sang the Doxology together as a family, and I got this picture of my dad.
To be part of watching God’s hand in creation is truly awesome. I think I forget how God is infinite in His power and beauty and majesty, and my small little head thinks that for some reason He can’t handle my problems.
Instead I want to remember that God already knows the whole course of my life from beginning to end, and I don’t need to worry. I can wait. It doesn’t have to happen now. I need to enjoy this season, treasure the moments, not look for greener grass elsewhere. God put me right where I am for a reason. I don’t need to be anxious about being single, about making myself the perfect person for another person (because that’s not going to happen here on this earth); I need to trust in Him with all my heart.
O LORD HELP ME TO TRUST YOU!!!
I’m linking up with Meg for the Week in Review to just share my heart about learning to wait.
Do you have a hard time learning to wait?
How has the Lord taught you to wait?
What were some of the things that were hardest for you wait for?